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Not Quite Lewis and Clark

The Evolution of the River Men

If Pokemon can evolve why can’t we? If you were lucky enough to know us before this trip (or while we were still in Minnesota) you know the Fontanellas aren’t great at growing beards. I hate to shatter your picture perfect persona of us, but it’s true; the great facial hair gods have never smiled upon this house. For this trip though enough was enough! Rather than trying to appease them with sacrifices (like an unused razor), we declared war on these beings. It was not an easy battle, and there were many causalities along the way. Yet I can now hold my head high, knowing I fought the good fight. For those curious readers out there, here’s what 74 unshaved days on the river looks like for two facially hair challenged men.

The Before and After-Austin (What a looker)


The Before and After-Trent (No other description needed)


           The Before and After- Couples Picture (Because most thought we were married)


Our war with the facial hair gods was not the only battle going on during our time with Jean. We also tracked what this little trip did to our bodies. It's not as exciting, but we'll pass on the shirtless pics (scandalous) anyway.

Before- Austin


After- Austin


Before- Trent


After- Trent


So there you have it. canoeing the Mississippi River wont turn you into a bodybuilder, but if you want an epic beard maybe you should try it out. That or just don't shave for a while. I'm no expert, but either should work. 


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